God's Will and Free Will - Part 1

We talked a bit about God's will at the retreat yesterday. This led me to think about some questions that I had, and have had asked of me.

What is "God's will"? Is it some map or plan God has drawn up for my life, that I must follow? If so, how can I still have free will? What if I choose to do something that isn't on God's "map" for my life?

Firstly, the definition of the word "will". www.dictionary.com describes it as "to wish; desire; like". That works. So we are talking about what God wishes, or desires for me. "Wish" and "desire" aren't very forceful words... let's come back to this.

So what is it that God wishes for me? I believe that what God wishes and desires for each one of us is much bigger than whether or not I pass a test or get a job. God wants to love me, and for me to allow myself to be loved by Him. God wants to spend eternity loving me. That is what God wills for me - and for every single one of us.

Using the "map" analogy, God's Will is the destination, the ending location. He wants us to end up in heaven with Him. I don't think that he has the path to the end location mapped out for us - we make choices along the way when we come to crossroads, which way to go. This is where free will comes in.

Because God has given us free will, he gives us a choice - to choose Him or to choose "not" Him. By giving me this choice, our ever loving God - who is pure Love - renders Himself vulnerable to me rejecting Him and the love that He offers.

Love makes the lover vulnerable; and so our God - the One who taught the sun where to stand in the morning, and the oceans how far how far it can go - surrenders His power and might, and hands His heart over to me to do with it as I want. I can choose to cradle it or to crush it.

This also means that even though God is God, contrary to popular belief, He doesn't always get His way/get what He wants. He could force things and make things go His way if He wanted, but that isn't the way that our God, or how Love works. Love that isn't freely given isn't love at all.

So at the end of the day, my God is my lover, waiting and longing for me to reciprocate His love... hoping and wishing that I won't scorn Him, or throw everything He's done to woo me back in His face.

Father,

I thank you for everything you have ever done for me. Thank you for creating me and loving me unconditionally. Thank you for being so patient with me while I learn to accept myself and open myself up to you - please help me to see myself through Your eyes so that I can understand why You look at me and say "it is good".

Please continue to be with me so that I learn to desire what You desire, and will what You will. May I be Your hands and voice, so that Your Will will come about in the world.

I pray this through your Son Jesus.