His Name is Joseph

I’ve heard the story of the Annunciation so many times that I think I've started to tune out if ever I come across it.

But I came across this song sometime last year, a reflection on Mary's "yes" to God. I love it because of how it was able to put me in Mary's shoes, understand a little of how she might have felt when the Angel Gabriel put the proposition (proposed?) to her.

What moves me the most is the way that I’d like to think Mary would have prayed to God about this. The account in Luke doesn’t give a time frame of how quickly Mary made her decision, but I’m sure God would have allowed her time enough to discern her answer.

In particular, I like the way that in the song, Mary

• Confides her deepest feelings to God: “I admit that I am scared; I was really not prepared” and “It is one thing for me to walk into this glorious unknown; But another, Lord, to think that I must do it alone”
• Tells God about Joseph and her fear of losing him if she accepts His proposal: “But I ask your reassurance for the love that found me: His name is Joseph; he is a carpenter. I believe our hearts are destined for each other”
• Accepts God’s proposal/will for her, despite her fears: “But let the world think what they will; For today your promise is fulfilled” and “So you have chosen this for me; I accept it willingly”
• Asks God honestly for what her heart desires: “But as for him, I cannot tell; I can only pray you've chosen him as well” and “If he goes, life will not end; But I could truly use a friend"
• Considers the feelings of those around her as part of her discernment: “And when you find him, please tell him gently; This is something I can't think he'll understand; Oh send your angels to sing to him”

This is exactly the appeal that Mary has for me: her gentle humility, her humanity, and the fact that she understands completely what it is like to be single, in a relationship, and married. She is totally our mum and is someone that will listen to us and pray to God on our behalf!

Dearest Mary,

Thank you for your example of humility, love for our God and complete trust in His will. Thanks also for being such a good mum for Jesus and good wife to Joseph, so that He was able to grow up in such a loving family.

Please pray for me. Please ask the Holy Spirit to be with me always and inspire me so that I may remember to include God when making my decisions, and that I will learn to discern the way that you have.

Please pray that I may learn to trust God as you did, especially when I have to make hard decisions that will affect those around me. Please pray that I will remember always that our Father loves me and only ever wants the best for me.

Please continue to pray for all of us as we step through life – to appease the anger that we incite in our Father as we make mistakes, and continue to guide us so that we might end up with you and your son at the end of our journey.

God's Will and Free Will - Part 1

We talked a bit about God's will at the retreat yesterday. This led me to think about some questions that I had, and have had asked of me.

What is "God's will"? Is it some map or plan God has drawn up for my life, that I must follow? If so, how can I still have free will? What if I choose to do something that isn't on God's "map" for my life?

Firstly, the definition of the word "will". www.dictionary.com describes it as "to wish; desire; like". That works. So we are talking about what God wishes, or desires for me. "Wish" and "desire" aren't very forceful words... let's come back to this.

So what is it that God wishes for me? I believe that what God wishes and desires for each one of us is much bigger than whether or not I pass a test or get a job. God wants to love me, and for me to allow myself to be loved by Him. God wants to spend eternity loving me. That is what God wills for me - and for every single one of us.

Using the "map" analogy, God's Will is the destination, the ending location. He wants us to end up in heaven with Him. I don't think that he has the path to the end location mapped out for us - we make choices along the way when we come to crossroads, which way to go. This is where free will comes in.

Because God has given us free will, he gives us a choice - to choose Him or to choose "not" Him. By giving me this choice, our ever loving God - who is pure Love - renders Himself vulnerable to me rejecting Him and the love that He offers.

Love makes the lover vulnerable; and so our God - the One who taught the sun where to stand in the morning, and the oceans how far how far it can go - surrenders His power and might, and hands His heart over to me to do with it as I want. I can choose to cradle it or to crush it.

This also means that even though God is God, contrary to popular belief, He doesn't always get His way/get what He wants. He could force things and make things go His way if He wanted, but that isn't the way that our God, or how Love works. Love that isn't freely given isn't love at all.

So at the end of the day, my God is my lover, waiting and longing for me to reciprocate His love... hoping and wishing that I won't scorn Him, or throw everything He's done to woo me back in His face.

Father,

I thank you for everything you have ever done for me. Thank you for creating me and loving me unconditionally. Thank you for being so patient with me while I learn to accept myself and open myself up to you - please help me to see myself through Your eyes so that I can understand why You look at me and say "it is good".

Please continue to be with me so that I learn to desire what You desire, and will what You will. May I be Your hands and voice, so that Your Will will come about in the world.

I pray this through your Son Jesus.

My Prayer for Discerning Vocation

A few of us went on a silent retreat today, and the topic of the day was Discerning our Vocations. When I first started reflecting, I wasn't sure of wher to start... but after reading some thoughts from Thomas Merton, was instead inspired to write the following prayer. I hope you might find it a useful place if you are ever thinking about your vocation!

Dear God,

Thank you for blessing me so abundantly. Thank you for my faith in You, and allowing me to trust You so completely. Please continue to bless me in this way, and protect me if ever i start to lose this faith in You.

I don't know what You want me to do with my life, but I hope You will continue to reveal this to me. Please continue to inspire me to open myself to You, so that I will be able to tell when You are speaking to me.

Please help me to know myself better: show me my strengths, so that I may continue to use these to do Your will. Please show me my weaknesses, so that I may be aware of them, and learn to love myself in spite of them. Please help me work through the many fears that I may feel as I carry out Your work. Help me to remember that with You behind our backs, nothing is impossible.

Finally, please be with me and inspire me to desire what You desire; to will what You will, so that I may be a true reflection of You in everything I do.

I ask this in the name of Jesus Christ, my Lord and God.